One of the hardest things for me to cope with since having Gus is leaving him home alone. The sight of him in the front window, with his chin on the ledge, tugs painfully at my heartstrings as I back the car out of the driveway. He looks so abandoned and forlorn, and I always feel terrible to be leaving him behind inside as I go off out into the world for a time.
Am I crazy to feel this way? Maybe. Dog experts will tell you that dogs live in the present, and they promptly forget about what isn’t in front of them anymore. We have often joked that we’d love to plant a video camera in the house, to record what Gus is actually doing when he is home by himself. It would probably reveal a far different scenario than the lonely misery I imagine. Like our kids when they were left home alone for the first time, he likely takes advantage of the lack of supervision to push back the boundaries a little. Maybe he checks out all our beds, stretches out on the sofa for a while, and has a good long snuffle through all the garbage and dirty laundry he so dutifully avoids in our presence. Or maybe . . . he does nothing at all, and just relaxes and enjoys the peace and quiet!
Time alone is a rare commodity in our busy lives. We are programmed and scheduled with work and activities, and these usually involve a myriad of colleagues, friends and family members. I’ve mentioned before that our house is usually bustling with teens and activity, and that’s the way I truly prefer it. However, on the rare occasions that I do find myself alone in the house, it feels like a little gift. Whether I choose to use that time for admirable pursuits like work or housecleaning (you now know that’s not very often!), or I simply sit down and relax with a cup of tea, I find that I end up refreshed and recharged as a result.
Since my Dad has been in hospital for weeks now, our family has pulled together in so many ways. One thing my siblings and I have done is to ensure that our Mom does not feel she is facing this journey alone. We have worked out an informal schedule so that someone is always with her at the hospital, and we have escorted her home at night on many occasions. The other day, in a particularly difficult moment, I suggested that she might want me to move in with her for a bit. My Mom is an incredible lady. She has demonstrated a combination of brilliant insight with a quiet strength, sensitivity, humour and a ton of class. She very kindly thanked me for my offer, and gently said to me, “I need some time alone each night. It’s important for me right now.” She’s completely right, and I understood.
I respect my Mom’s need for space, and I understand that, just like me, we all benefit from quiet time in our own company on a regular basis. I’m even starting to think differently about people I see having dinner in restaurants alone. And finally, for now, I’m committed to getting over my hangup about leaving Gus to chill on his own in the house. Maybe his head is on the ledge so he can make sure I’m completely out of sight before he bounds upstairs to do his thing!
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As you back out of the driveway, just start singing “How much is that doggie in the window?”